What the fuck's wrong with Cindy McCain?

Besides the obvious fact, of course, that the trophy racehorse she put her money on thirty years ago has turned out to be a bad bet in the home stretch.

After she and John get called out on dishonest campaign ads on "The View," she warbles that "they picked our bones clean."

(That's not the most pretty image to call up when you look like a mannequin that's been left out in the sun too long, incidentally.)

In the midst of resurrecting the long-shelved Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright and secret-Muslim bogeymen, Cindy tells a crowd that Barack Obama has run the "dirtiest campaign in history."

You can't blame her entirely, of course. Has anyone ever picked on her, like, ever? She developed a pill habit over the third-hand splashback of the Keating Five affair -- this is not a woman made for the rigors of the campaign trail.

We all saw John's contemptuous dodge of Obama's handshake after Tuesday's debate, and his deflection to Cindy, who was forced to touch "That One." Given her penchant for hysterical exaggeration, I look forward to hearing "Barack Obama raped me" by the weekend.

Michelle Obama, on the Daily Show tonight, blew off the whole "That One" fiasco and described Cindy as "cordial," claiming they'd already greeted each other backstage. She was cool, diplomatic, polite, and gracious. Can you imagine Cindy McCain, were she to deign to perch her bony ass on Jon Stewart's chair, showing that kind of poise? Hell, Michelle looks more presidential than John these days.

And Cindy's looking... well... a little brittle. It's too bad she doesn't still have unfettered access to Keating's private jet to the Bahamas, because that's one desperate housewife who's gonna need a little rehab R & R when John's done losing this thing.