Palin's on the stump. Standing next to McCain, because she can't go out on her own yet, apparently.
Wait for it... wait for it... "I got rid of the executive chef, and boy, were my kids mad!"
Hold on, I love this part... let me get my air guitar out... "I put the jet on eBay!"
Where were YOU the first time you heard... "there is only ONE man who has really fought for you"? Oh, and the "I'm gonna say this because he won't say it himself" intro -- lighter in the air!
Wait... I'm almost to climax... I need that one last chartbuster... "I said thanks but no thanks to the Bridge to Nowhere!"
You know, even Bachman-Turner Overdrive plays songs besides "Takin' Care of Business" when they hit a rib-off.
I wish I'd realized this strategy worked so well when I was single.
"I have a thirteen-inch penis!"
"No you don't. That's almost completely impossible."
"I have a thirteen-inch penis!"
"People have seen it and that's just not true."
"I have a thirteen-inch penis!"
"Well... you sure are scrappy! I'd better sleep with you and your thirteen-inch penis right away!"
Contrast this morning's CNN coverage: Obama puts the "lipstick on a pig" thing in its proper place within two minutes, then outlines a sober, intelligent, far-reaching plan of education reform. Now we have Palin's parrot act and McCain talking up Todd Palin's snowmobiling prowess.
Watch out, big-spending, do-nothing fat cats: unless your name is Charles Keating, change is coming!
Fuck the Alaska jet, I'm gonna go look for John McCain's dignity on eBay.
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