Some heads aren't gonna roll

Okay, guys. You can have our trillion dollars. Bail out the financial system. Pay for the mistakes of unregulated cocksuckers who didn't even know what they were selling, just chasing paper. We'll pony up the bill.

But we want something too. And I'm not just talking the chance to bask in the glow of your sublime crisis management skills.

I want trials. I want fat old white guys in suits sobbing on the witness stand. I want pretty teenaged sons and daughters of privilege yanked out of prep schools. I want Botoxed cougars out on their asses, breaking nails to pack boxes as they're tossed out of their McMansions.

You want "unprecedented" moves? How about we unceremoniously yank all that severance money out from under the heads of AIG, Bear Sterns, Lehman Brothers, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Freeze their assets, turn their houses into VA rehabilitation centers, and put them out in the California sun picking oranges for nine bucks an hour. Is that too extreme? It's not a trillion dollars' worth of extreme.

Anyone who had a position of authority in the financial sector during this crisis should be stripped of all rights to be so much as an assistant bank teller for the rest of their lives. There should be a cap on their personal income, and it should be the poverty line -- anything else they make goes immediately into the U.S. treasury. Monitor their emails and phone calls shamelessly, and forbid them to travel outside of the country for life.

Fuck them. Fucking fuck them. They certainly didn't mind fucking everyone else.